Growing up in Nigeria as a kid and teenager, there were lots of exciting stories about how Sister Jane the church worship singer got pregnant for Brother John – church choirmaster. This type of hot gossip is usually associated with the choir department in most churches. Dating among church choristers is a common problem that needs an address in our churches and campus fellowships.
We all know Bro. Akpos the drummer and Keyboardist Michael will add a little freestyle at the end of the praise session not to glorify God but to woo the sisters in the church. This technique has proven to work overtime. Most choristers and instrumentalist are only interested in parts of the service that will showcase themselves. It is common to find them outside the church during the sermon and prayer session.
The situation is even worse in campus fellowship in Nigeria tertiary institutions. Brothers brew to join the choir group because they want to be close to a particularly fine sister in school. The sisters on their path become choristers because they want to showcase their beauty and curve for potential suitors that may be in service the day they take a song solo.
If you lived off-campus in the University, Polytechnic or College of Education, you would be aware how campus fellowship sisters visit brothers for private choir rehearsal in their lodge. It usually ends in a premium sexual act.
Why is dating common among choristers in the church?
- Freedom, Familiarity and Proximity
- Young members with raging hormones
- The Chase for God-fearing men and Spirikoko sisters
- Strict Church Rules
- Satan Instrumentalism
1. Freedom, Familiarity and Proximity
As a Nigerian teenager, the only way some of us could get to leave the house is when we tell our parents we want to attend choir rehearsals. Being a choir member comes with lots of freedom. Choristers spend a lot of time together and become comfortable with each other. When you stay around the opposite sex with attributes that you admire, it is natural to catch feelings for them. It is quite easy to date in an environment people are familiar with each other. It just feels like the logical thing to do.
For some guys who fear to approach ladies outside the church, they don’t experience this limitation in the church choir group. Most times, it is the ladies that woo them or their skill on the musical instrument does the wooing.
Choir members are always together for rehearsals and song ministration most days of the week. This closeness and proximity cultivate friendship and affection which metamorphose into lust. According to the popular Nigerian slang “Na where you work, you chop” is the reason why dating is common among choristers in the church.
2. Young members with raging hormones
There is beauty in singing. Choir group is where most young people express themselves with no restriction. The choir membership of most churches and campus fellowships comprise mainly of youths. Youths are known to be energetic and explorative with high sex drive. Most of these youths who join the church choir do it for the wrong motive. They are only in the choir department for the popularity that comes with the position and not the spiritual impact.
Most youths see nothing wrong dating their fellow choristers. They have an aggressive sex hormone that lures them to explore these sexual acts. As long as the church choir group comprise mostly of youths who chase popularity over spiritual refinement, there will be an increase in the number of improper relationships among choristers in the church and campus fellowships.
3. The Chase for God-fearing men and Spirikoko sisters
The dream of every woman is to get hooked by a fire branded God-fearing man. Men also dream of getting married to a beautiful spirikoko sister. Well, the choir group is one place you can find these set of people.
Some people go to church for nothing else but to hear Sister Jessica melodious voice. Some ladies drool when they hear Brother Tunde baritone voice. Since the choir department is a place where people meet those with their specifications, they end up going into a relationship with these people.
4. Strict Church rules
The church regulation or campus fellowship constitution clearly states that choir members must not involve themselves in improper or sexual relationships. As already said, young people love to break the rule. There is a certain kind of ecstasy that comes when youths date secretly and conceal the relationship.
Teenagers and youths will always want to engage in youthful exorbitance. To curtail this problem, churches should map out ways in which young people can express themselves openly and get Godly counsel.
5. Satan Instrumentalism
Before the fall of Satan, he was the most beautiful and powerful archangel. According to the biblical reference. Ezekiel 28:13 says The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes was prepared for you on the day you were created. Satan is known to have been the first worship leader.
The connection between Satan and the choir group is popular base on how choristers engage in immoral behaviour. The devil does not want Christians to worship God in spirit and truth. One way to achieve the aim is to plant the seed of lust among the church choristers.
When lust infiltrates the heart of choir members, the glory of God departs from the church. To summarize, sexual relationship occurs among choirs in churches and campus fellowships because they are the main targets of Satan.
Is every Choirister involved in Sexual Relationships?
Of course not. Not every church choir member is engaged in improper relationships. The act is only rampant in most churches and campus fellowships of tertiary institutions.
Is dating wrong for choir members?
Dating or courtship by church choristers is not wrong as long as such a relationship is following the tenet of the scripture and church doctrine. Church choristers can marry their fellow members or any member of the church as long as biblical principles as upheld.
How to avoid dating in the church choir?
- First thing first, members of the church choir need to evaluate and gauge their motive of joining the choir group. They have to understand that the goal is to usher people into the presence of God by their song ministration.
- Churches should create a support group for choristers that addresses topics about sex and relationship. Church teenagers and youths would be able to talk about lust and false affection for the opposite sex and in some cases, same-sex. They need to be encouraged and not reprimanded. People need to define friendship to avoid any form of entanglement.
- Are you a church chorister
- Have you ever been in a relationship as or with a church chorister?
- What’s your experience and thoughts on church choristers dating?