My Suicide Note – Alone in this World

I feel alone in this diverse and beautiful world because it seems as if no one cares about me. Sadly, it’s just like my problems are way too enormous for me to handle. The more I seek for care and support, the more disappointment and betrayal I encounter.

I always ask myself, why does it have to be this way because I have observed that everybody only caring about what they are getting and not what they can give. These experiences have maimed me to the extent that I no longer have a clear vision of life itself. My head is aching, heart running, legs shaking, and my eyes flooding. 

Many at times, it seems as if I’m the only one challenged with these difficulties may be because the people around me portray themselves to be perfect with no iota of deficiency. I try not to voice out the truism of my condition and the vulnerability of my heart. I know that people are only interested to hear my story for mockery and reference purposes as they don’t even care to offer any solution or recommendation.

Every day, I am judged by my mistakes, inadequacy and deficiency. This causes me to enter a logarithmic phase of mental breakdown. I wonder what would have been my experience if people stop the judging and tell me “all is going to be okay.”

What if I’m not alone?

What if other people out there are equally experiencing my pain and struggle and only skilful in hiding their problems. I know that life is a race that comes with diverse challenges that will attempt to thwart our dreams and aspirations. It is relieving to know that I’m not alone in the struggle to run the race.

What if I’m passing through a phase?

If I am a pure gold, I need to pass through the furnace to be refined to a marketable and beautiful product. Then, the problem I’m passing through must be temporary and required for me to be able to harness my full potentials. For example, my experiences a few years ago have shaped my perspective about life because I now have a better insight.

My challenges today must be preparing me for a better future. Isaiah 43:2 says God will be with me during tough times. In this passage, God is assuring me that he will never leave nor forsake me, he will stand beside me because that is all that matters. Joy comes in the morning and light will come out of the darkness.

What If I’m loved?

It could be that there are people around me like my family and colleagues who truly love and cherish me. Maybe my over the consciousness of being alone has assuaged my awareness of the constant love being showered upon.

Some people I’m not close to or converse with even love me. Most importantly, Jesus excessively loves me too much. 1 Corinthians 13: tells me everything I need to know about love.

What if I volunteer?

Instead of investing an enormous amount of energy into thinking about my problems, what if I decide to volunteer and assist those who might need my assistance. Despite my travails, I still come across people who are facing greater shades of problems than me. I think I can put smiles on my face by putting a smile on the faces of other persons.

What if I share the joy? Philippians 2:4: is a message why I need to reach out to people.

What if I enjoy life?

I believe this is the best time to be alive with the groundbreaking discovery in medicine, engineering, technology, food recipe etc. Maybe what I need is to take a deep breath and smile. I need a break from time to time, maybe going on a vacation and enjoying my life to the fullest. Life is too short for me to waste a second.

I need to spend time with the people I love and have a taste of life from a very positive dimension. I do not require the approval of anybody because I’m just going to engage myself in activities I love. I will eat well, sleep well, exercise well and smile well.

What if I’m grateful?

1 Chronicles 16:34: teaches me to give thanks to the Lord. Even in my weakness as I walk through the dark tunnel, I know he is here to see me through. I must bless the name of the Lord because without his grace and mercy I wouldn’t be alive. It is paramount that I appreciate the Oghene Kabi o osi, Ebube Duke, Ubangiji n Duniya, Osanobwa, the Ekwuemistic God.

I must spend ample time to sing of the praises of the King of Kings because only in Him can I find true happiness, love and protection.

If you take a critical examination of where we are coming from, the struggles and progress, we will have a glimpse of the future. Every day comes with its opportunities that we can utilize to achieve surmountable success.

We need to share our stories, we need to understand that it is okay to be down at times, we need to believe in the beauty of our dreams. Never fail to reach out to those around you because only a call or text can avert a catastrophe from taking place.

We must join hands and make conscious actions to spread love because love is a gift to humanity.

No to Suicide

No to Sniper

Yes, to Fruits

Yes, to Hope.

Share on:
Avatar

Leave a Comment