My Face Is Too Intense: How Do I Calm Down

I woke up this morning on the left side of my rickety two-inch bed, caught up in a stormy wave of frustration; I prefer not to say depression. Yesterday being Monday was the most frustrating day for me in 2020 aside from the daily torture with covid-19. I felt sad because I had already started the week on a wrong foot greased with negative vibes. What happened is that we’ve not had power supply since Sunday evening due to a fault with the power distribution in my part of the city.

My best guess is that the substation grid collapsed. There has been indication since mid-last week this would happen. The worst thing about the blackout was that I had already begun to exhibit symptoms of chronic ideal accumulation disorder.

The worst way to start a day as a Nigerian is to wake up thinking about Nigeria unsolvable problems. The country is a mess it is not out of place to say there is no hope for the nation; indeed, there was a country. It was my greatest undoing this morning to my mental health, thinking about the rot in the educational sector.

I eventually tried to shake off the Nigeria negative vibe only to be aware once again that there was no electricity to boil water for my morning bath.  I want to manage my gas since I do not have plans to make an impromptu stop at the gas vendor.

Yesterday evening, I had already resolved I would make beans and pap this morning. When you are a Nigerian bachelor, you have to make these hectic plans yourself or else hungry will ma-ma you. At a point, while the beans were cooking, I gave up on the beans, the usual me would have been excited with the thought of beans-ing up for the day. I sat on my study half asleep thinking about all the plans I could not achieve the previous day due to the power outage.

Finally, I finished with the cooking; it was now time to make akamu (pap). My pots already occupied – dirty actually. I decided to use a small stainless plate to boil the water for the pap. After setting up, I went back, sat down less concerned about my morning meal. Moments later, I went back to my makeshift kitchen to make the pap.

Guess what? The akamu refused to solidify; the pap remained watery. I had not allowed the water to boil to the required temperature. It wouldn’t have happened if there was light to heat the hot water. I wasn’t going to make my day any worse. I quickly disposed of the akamu, served myself beans with dry garri sprinkled at the top just as I like it.

After I finished the meal, the idea of going out to spend the day crossed my mind. But where would I go to and do what? Yes! I would go to the photo studio to get a profile picture for my Lifestyle blog. At least, my day was finally going to be productive. I gleamed with expectation. I made attempts to put a call to some folks to recommend a photo studio in the city, but my phone was out of juice. Anyhow, the monkey must chop the banana. I set out for the ultimate search of a photo studio.

From my estimation, I began my trekking around 11 pm. Thankfully, the weather was friendly. When I got to the next street after mine, I saw NTA News van. The newsmen were interviewing a woman who sells beans and plantain. I knew they were asking how the covid pandemic has impacted her business. Her response would probably be terrible.

Into my journey, I passed some photo studios; I wasn’t planning to end my day quickly. I continued my trek towards the state township stadium. I intended to go the length and breadth to find a photo studio and also experience street life. I wanted to feel the hustle and bustle in the city. I hoped what I would see would give me a new story.

Anybody who says Nigerians are lazy is an f-ing freaky liar. Nigerians are industrious people ranging from the spare parts marketer, food seller, hairstylist, herbal medicine marketer, computer operator, photographer, carpenter to the woman roasting corn along the road; these are very hardworking people trying to sustain their family.

I walked back to the first studio I saw to take my profile picture for my blog. I had to wait a few seconds for the owner of the shop to arrive. He asked if what I wanted was a Facebook profile picture? That amused me, like do people go to the studio to take a profile picture for Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?

During the photo session, the photographer said to me “relax, your face is looking too serious, calm down.”

Inside of me, I was like “this is my most relaxing face. What do you want me to do kwanu?”

Two seconds – life can mess you up, stimulate a change that alters the pattern of your life. A case scenario is when you are viewing a thrilling movie on your phone, you pause it and tears begin to shower down your cheek. I have come to understand that life is a problem, problem is life. From a problem, we jump into another problem.

  • You buy a new car – mechanic headache.
  • You build a house – maintenance.
  • You buy a phone – the screen cracks.
  • You graduate from school – job hunt.
  • You gain admission – school stress.
  • You give birth to a child – baby expenses.
  • You open a blog or YouTube channel – no traffic.
  • You get married – in-law’s troubles.
  • You release music – no fans.
  • You post pictures – no likes.
  • You start up a business – Low patronage.

One time, I tried to run away from problem, I encountered a double repercussion.

There is a magnitude that life messes with you that you’d need to learn how to smile, laugh and calm down. The issues of life can be overwhelming when you are not meeting up with targets. Joking around is becomes a luxury. That’s just the peculiarity of life. We cannot stay without encountering draw backs. These challenges are what make life gripping. It is why our adrenaline routinely shoots to the roof. It is time to accept the reality that the problem is life and life is a problem.

How to I Calm Down

We Need to Cry

We are being led astray by motivational speakers and religious fanatics that tell us we are not supposed to show any form of weakness no matter the challenges that we encounter. That’s all false piece of information. We must know that there comes a time in our lives when we run into life problems; a time when we’re subdued with the fog of sadness. These challenges are so overwhelming, the best thing to do sometimes is to let all the tears to flow down our pretty face. It is how we allow our heart to bleed for the pain we are experiencing. Tears are not a sign that we are weak. It is only an indication of the pain.

Admit our Mistake

The fact is that the difficulties that we face may not be our desire. We had a contribution to it. Our present situation may be that we took the wrong decision, was at the wrong place, kept bad friends, we may even have no clue on what we have done wrong.

We must admit our past mistakes. The admittance helps us to identify the root cause of our problems and find ways that we can deal with them. But if we choose not to admit our trouble and acknowledge we contributed to our mess; the difficulty might linger for a longer time.

Get a New Strategize

After we must have identified our trouble, it is time to make a new plan. We need not dwell too much on our past mistakes. The beauty of life is the ability to come out of every challenge stronger. We all deserve a second chance. The experience we gained from our previous difficult situation gives us the potential to make better plans and prevent future reoccurrence. The new strategy might involve synergizing with other people to overcome our hurdles.

Tone your Inner Strength

For us to get back on track and win the race, there is a need for us to have an inner motivation. A generator that powers our mind to strive for excellence, a reason to keep on propelling forward. Without making this decision within us, we may never overcome our difficulty. It is this inner strength that makes us forgo our past experiences with the determination to push forward. At this crucial stage, it is necessary to only dwell in an environment with positive energy. Stay away from people or places with negative influence.

Win and Move to the Next Problem

With faith, consistency and hard work, we’d overcome our challenges and win the race. Winning is not the end of the journey. As we finish tackling a particular difficulty, we get ushered into another new problem. That’s how life works.

  • What is your most frustrating experience this year?
  • Do you think we can stay without problem?
  • Can you relate to my rant?
  • What’s your experience?
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Blessing Olarewaju

Hi! I love to write, learn and read. Passionate lifelong learner addicted to the Human Life of the Internet.

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